Tim Vs The Meatball
Sorry. I know it has been awhile but I have been quite busy. School is kicking my butt and I am just about done. I hope to write more and I hope you will join me. I have lots of material to catch you up on. Since our last meeting I have been to foreign countries and am preparing to travel to Europe where I will surely puke on many a beautiful shoe. (sorry Lis.) First up, the meatball.
I know this shouldn’t be so complicated but I was almost 31 before I liked meatballs. Even I cannot explain this one.
Beautiful and Understanding Wife Lisa: You like sauce and pasta right?
Beautiful and Understanding Wife Lisa: You like hamburgers right?
Beautiful and Understanding Wife Lisa: Then you should love meatballs.
Tim: You love meatballs! (Said as an insult. I had nothing.)
The hardest part about this challenge was the fact that I knew I should love meatballs. People ask me all the time what the root of my phobia is. They ask if it is flavor, spice, taste, texture. Honestly, it could be any of them. I think, in the case of meatballs, it was always texture. I always kinda pictured (in my mind) meatballs as grainy. I don’t know why but my mind goes right to sand. I know I am messed up. You do not have to remind me. Also, it is just me our are there too many foods that go in our mouth with the word ball in them? (gumball, meatball, cheeseball, matzo ball, meatball bomber) Why perpetuate it? So the one night I come home from work and Lisa is cooking in the kitchen.
Tim: What’s cooking babe?
Lisa: We’re having spaghetti and meatballs tonight.
Tim: It’s pronounced “you’re…”
Lisa: No we’re both going to eat it.
Tim: Do you know where I left the shovel, and a survey of the backyard? I need to dig a body sized hole, but I need to check where the gas lines are first.
Lisa: (not amused)
Tim: Ummm, I love you?
So I prepared to try meatballs. Lisa is an extremely healthy person and her meatballs were made from scratch with ground chicken. She also made the sauce herself. The sauce I knew I would love so I was praying that it would make up so the monstrosity that was about to occur. I cut off a small piece of ball, doused it in sauce and spaghetti and consumed.
I don’t know what it was. I have HATED meatballs! Every memory of trying to was met with disgust and revulsion. I did not expect this at all. Chicken meatballs are my friend! In the three months since I tried meatballs I think I have eaten them two nights a week. It tasted just like chicken parm, but since Lisa made it with her health nut magic, it’s not bad for me! I don’t know if I can quite explain how much I love these meatballs. I would marry them if they could cook and smooch. Lisa has to remind me at every birthday that not everyone would enjoy getting meatballs for a gift. I don’t see why, but hey more for me! I should just trust Lisa. Uh oh. A lesson.