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Cats are Evil

I am fairly confident my wife loves me. I am also fairly certain she does not want to kill me. She is also very supportive of my cause, and attempts to help me when she can, even if it is against my will or without my knowledge. Let me back up a bit. This year for Halloween, my group of friends dressed up as villains from Batman. I was the Riddler and my beautiful and supportive wife was Catwoman. Aren’t we gorgeous?


In the movies, Catwoman is portrayed as a sneaky character with ninja-like skills. I learned this week how much my wife is like Catwoman in real life. As I have said before, my wife is an excellent cook. The only thing holding her back is me. Lisa tries very hard to expose me to healthier options. One time she made brownies with pumpkin puree instead of oil. They tasted fine, but once I knew pumpkin was in the brownies I could/would not eat them. I am a pain in the ass and I know it. Fast forward to this week. Lisa made chili on Monday. There is literally no better food in the world on a cold rainy day. Chili is one of the few foods that I love where I cannot identify the contents. Lisa decided to put this to the test this week. She put 8 different vegetables in the chili. Her trick? Dice them extremely small so I would not be able to detect the vegetable presence. A few of the vegetables she left big to confuse me. Celery, no problem. It barely has a taste. Carrots are essentially sponges that taste like whatever dish they occupy. The only other identified vegetables were beans and I really do not have a problem with beans because they do not taste like anything. The bits and pieces I was eating, I assumed were smaller pieces of the aforementioned identifiable vegetables. I ate the entire bowl, loving every bite of it.
Later that night, Lisa chose to let me in on the secret. I found out I had consumed celery, onion, carrots, red beans, green peppers, yellow peppers, tomatoes, and mushrooms!!!! I never would have guessed it; Lisa did an excellent job of keeping me ignorant. The funny thing is, I do not think I will have any issues eating more of the chili. It was delicious.



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