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This year I have a lot to be thankful for. I have an amazing wife, a wonderful family, and the best friends a guy could ask for. This year we attended Friendsgiving and it was amazing! Every comfort food imaginable was available in spades. I wanted to share a conversation I had at Friendsgiving. It is an extremely common line of questioning I receive.

Tim: Is the frosting on the red velvet cupcakes regular frosting or cream cheese?

Host: It’s cream cheese

Tim: Oh okay, thanks.

Guest: Do you not like cream cheese?

Tim: No.

Guest: It tastes just like regular frosting.

Tim: Thanks, but I cannot eat it.

Guest: Are you lactose intolerant?

Tim: No.

Guest: Are you just super health conscious?

Tim: Ha! no.

Guest: Can you not eat dairy for some intrinsic purpose like religion or something?

Tim: No.

Guest: I’m confused.

Tim: I just don’t like it.

Guest: Have you ever tried it?

Tim: No.

Guest: How do you know you don’t like it?

Tim: The same way I know I don’t like monkey brains or Twilight. I just know.

Guest: That’s pretty weird.

Tim: You asked.

Guest: Is that your only hangup?

Tim: Ha, no.

Guest: So I take it you won’t try this cream cheese cranberry dip, right?

Tim: I have a whole other issue with cranberries, but no I would not eat it.

Guest: What’s wrong with cranberries?!?

‘Tim: I’m pretty sure they were planted by Satan.

Guest: I’m going to go over here now. (Guest walks away)

Tim: You asked.

Overall, Friendsgiving was amazing. Lots of food, drink and football. No better way to spend a Sunday. Oh, and now I have documented proof about evil cranberries thanks to my scientists.

satan cranberry seed


One response to “Friends-giving

  1. brucatoj ⋅

    Cream cheese frosting is fantastic, but only jellied cranberries can be consumed for complete enjoyment.

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